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Drugs...

You know they take the pain away...

But yet they fuck with your brain to the point of insanity...

how can you stop it before it's all to late?

You lose friends, family, people that you didn't want to lose at all..

Because of the stupid little things in life...

My brain is all just a bunch of mush....

Who cares..

But when everyone single one of my friends do care...

But what if I don't care?/

Wait no that's insanity. I do care..

What the fuck is wrong with me..

I hate that I think this way...

I can't go back to that monster..

I'm better then that..

I don't know... I'm sad..

I miss my mom.

I don't want my mom to be gone.

I know I said I hate her..

But I really do love her..

I miss her so much.

I hate that she is gone..

I don't want to go back to the old me I like the new me..

I don't know what to do...

I'm stupid and I'm young. I'm a moron..

I need help, I need sleep, fuck I need to eat to.. Great I wonder what this lead me to the last time I did this.

Ugh.. Don't want to think about that.

Fuck I'm here where it all started sitting at the same spot my dad hit me because my sister was crying..

The memories are everywhere. I can't take it. It's just way to much to the point of insanity. or maybe I already am insane.. I don't know..

Posted by AllAroundMe at 10:40 on Nov 21st, 2008

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darleen	Posted on 12:55PM on Nov 21st, 2008 Hi, I hope you are doing and feeling better than when you shared this blog. I emphathize with you and am here to tell you, i've been there, done that, wore the tee shirt and probably sold the darn thing. You are not alone and where there is life there is hope!! Believe me, if i can change--anyone can, even you. Write me back if you'd like me to share my recovery with you!! God Bless!!
RageAgainst	Posted on 03:52PM on Nov 21st, 2008 babe I'm here for you. I hope this blog doesn't mean you are going to relapse I really do hope you don't you have gone so long without those bad things. I'm here for you with the getting over your mother's death. Babe we all say we hate our mother's I did when I was younger. It'll be alright. She knows that you love her. She is watching over you to babe. I'm here for you to. Just pm me or you can IM me to. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
TheDevilsDaughter Feeling sleepy	Posted on 04:03PM on Nov 23rd, 2008 Your strong and i know that you can get through this, im here for you. It may seem hopeless at the moment and impossible but its not, you can do it. I know going back there's not where you want to be and i have faith that you wont go back. Iv been there many times where i just wanted to crawl up in a corner and die, to just turn my back on the world its very tempting but not a good place to be. I know you can make it. Im here for you if you need anything. hugs
joon Feeling emotional	Posted on 07:31PM on Nov 23rd, 2008 Its good that your letting you fears and anger out on this blog. Its can really help you stay clean. A friend of my kept a journal, which she wrote in everyday, when she was detoxing. Just know that you deserve to be happy. You have alot to live for and dream for, which is your art. Your love one's in heaven want ypu to have a good life, just keep believing that.
tulick Feeling enraged	Posted on 06:46PM on Nov 24th, 2008 hang in there lean on your freinds and know that what your feeling is a normal part of greif (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Tinkerbell2	Posted on 08:14PM on Nov 24th, 2008 I wish I could make you feel better. I will always be here for you I know you are a strong person and you can do this (((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
AlbinoPolarBear	Posted on 12:14AM on Dec 8th, 2008 The outcome could have been just as bad, or even worse if you did not take the drugs. There was a reason you took them in the first place. As you know, **** is inevitable.
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